So, I went to get a haircut for my youngest and I today. Something that should be so simple gave me a lot of anxiety. They asked me how I wanted my hair cut. I never know the answer. I didn't get my hair done for ten years….so we didn't have to go to the… Continue reading Haircuts
Today I did something really hard. I went to my Dr's appointment. It gave me flashbacks to when I was trafficked… but I got through it. Today I put in my notice at a job that is draining for a job that will give me more time with my family and is truly helping others.… Continue reading Update
So, I'm told I need to heal before I can help others, which I understand, but I don't know what that looks like. How do I know I'm healed. How do I even begin to heal? I feel like I'm avoiding everything and burying it because I'm good at that. However, I also feel like… Continue reading Healing??
Hello, This week I get to focus on working on emotions. Where does it hurt? Where do you feel what you are feeling? What do you feel? It's hurts everywhere... it hurts my heart. Yet I feel numb. I want to cry but I can't seem to. I feel used and broken. I told my… Continue reading Emotions…??
I just had a therapy appointment. It was good. She recommended I call (not on the phone but as in conversation when referring to him) him my abuser or trafficker rather than my ex because this will help me see the bad he did rather than the good and help me in my healing. I'm… Continue reading Thoughts after Therapy
Hello everyone, I finally found a therapist (well the lady that runs the organization for human trafficking survivors that I go to actually did). I see her for the first time today (virtually because of COVID). I'm nervous that A. She will just dissappear like my last one (apparently my last therapist had a family… Continue reading I now have a Therapist.
Hello, I'm not really sure what to write. I guess it doesn't really matter, this blog is about my healing, I'm not really looking for followers, although it would be nice so at least I know someone is listening. However, ultimately this blog is for me to express my feelings and get my thoughts out… Continue reading 6 a.m. Thoughts
Hello, So it's about 3 a.m. here. That's about when I wake up most mornings. I usually wake up between 12 a.m. and 3 a.m. and then go back to sleep. Its been that way since I left my abuser/trafficker a few months ago. I'm not sure why that's when I wake up, but it… Continue reading Thoughts at 3 a.m.